I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize