My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
