respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I don't think brook has ever known best
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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