It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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