it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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