Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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