Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize