The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
