He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
