just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
