either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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