I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
