What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
