i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
