Have you finally orgasmed yet?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
