That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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