Need sex. Gaining weight.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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