I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
