I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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