this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You are a booty call, not a friend.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
