i can't believe i had my finger in that
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I supernannyed him into submission
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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