i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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