Can i not drive my cunt home
love makes seman taste better
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
