All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
