Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
