Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
