I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
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