be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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