I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
