I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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