So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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