Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
