he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize