She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
