U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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