just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
