Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
