I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
babies were throwing up all over the place
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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