did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
