nut hugger
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I am one with the molecules
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
