Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
