My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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