Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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