Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
