So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
