doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
