One girl and one boy is just not enough.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I fill condoms, not promises.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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