I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
