I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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