how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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