I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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