Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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