He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize