That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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