What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
