Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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