can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I smell like Dick and happiness
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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