You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
