YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
we're making bets on your personal life
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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