i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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