mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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