Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
