A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
