I'm drive I can fine osifer
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
