This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
