Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I love you. Go after that dick
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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