She said her name was "party"
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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