I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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