is wine microwaveable?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
